Being Brave and Speaking Up about Bipolar and Anxiety

I haven't wrote in a loooong while due to work and just other personal stuff going on.I am wanting to help others who have got anxiety and/or Bipolar.I suffer with both, Bipolar Disorder means Manic Depression.I am for the first time acknowledging this as I feel this last few weeks have been a bloody hard struggle for me.Its been a struggle to get out of bed without thinking the day is going to bring doom or darkness.  I was diagnosed at the age of 20 I always knew something wasn't right and I just got on with it.But there was one day when I literally felt so scared to go outside and I don't know why I was fine up til the point of getting my coat on.I had a horrid feeling in my chest, tightness,pressure and palpitations this was also accompanied with me trying to breathe and catch my breath.I phoned 999 as I was sure I was having a heart attack the pain and the whole feeling of walls zooming in on me was so overwhelming.The ambulance had arrived and checked me over took me to the hospital as they were also sure I was having a heart attack,it was an awful state to be in but when I got the results back and the consultant arrived he said I was having a big Panic Attack.I said I don't suffer from anxiety and never have I don't think.He said you are not born with it it is a mental illness and it takes over your emotions.So I was very relieved at hearing the news it was not a heart attack but also abit confused that he said I have bad anxiety (after talking with me).

  I decided to do research and what I am going to tell you now you may think OMG she is crazy but lets keep in mind Mental Health is real it happens to everybody at some point of there life whether it being depressed all the way up to Clinical Conditions such as Schizophrenia.I decided to research my emotions and how i felt etc. A page popped up with Bipolar Disorder,I then read and the re-read everything.I am not a person to exaggerate on things as I don't see the point in taking medicine that you don't need.So i decided to ring my local GP and I got an appointment with the Dr the following day.

I went through all my symptoms there was only about 4-5 and I did a test with the Psychiatrist and its a test where you look at pictures/patterns and you say what you see.They then determine what you have with the results.I was told because a lot of my symptoms and what I was seeing was that of a person showing signs of Bipolar Disorder otherwise known as Manic Depression. It does not mean you are a maniac if you watch Eastenders think Stacey Slater/Jean Slater.That was me.I was so thrilled that this storyline had come to light 11 months after I was diagnosed.People asked me if I had the same signs as them and yes I had similar experiences but not all (i have not stripped yet-unless drunk lol :D ) but they did it very well as I felt I can see what's happening to me inside my brain being brought to life I no longer saw the actresses playing a character instead I saw my emotions and thoughts being brought to life.That maybe a bit difficult to understand but to me it makes sense.  I have had everything from Suicidal Thoughts to really Morbid thoughts (I have never attempted suicide).I have heard a voice now to some that sounds like something comical "I hear voices" "I see dead people" it does sound funny but i can assure you it is not when it happens to you. I have had days when I really panic.I find it hard to go to the shop some days even though I am ready to go its a struggle and a long process for me to go.I have had panic attacks since I was 19/20 years old so I have had 7-8 years of this and I think I am finally at a place now where I am happy to know I understand what is wrong with me I now have a word for myself lol.My Bipolar has not defined who I am.I am still a shopaholic and love my beauty it is these things that define who I am.I simply embrace it all accept it and no longer live in denial.
Me writing this today is because I am not ashamed of having Bipolar and Anxiety instead I want to help others who are experiencing similar things and how to control the bad thoughts.I have episodes every other day but recently it has literally been everyday because of the build up of stress from everything.So please if you experience any of the things I have spoke about go and talk to someone whether it be a parent/teacher/friends parent/doctor they can all help you.If like me you have a crazy mind then please comment and follow me and maybe we can help each other.I will be doing a video on this to expand more and answer any questions.

Loving Autumn

My favourite season is Autumn followed closely by winter. Here are my fave things about Autumn.


                      Change in colour of Leaves
                      Crunchy Leaves
                      Hot Chocolate with cream and marshmallows
                      Log Fire
                      Chocolate and comfort foods :)
                      Candles
                      Wellies
                      Tights
                      Knitwear
                      Horror Movies
                      Pumpkin Pies
                      Baking
                      Soup
                      Rain


The list continues on and on and ooooon but I love Autumn and I cannot wait til winter starts.Whats your favourite things about Autumn?

Primark shoppingdings

I forgot how Coventry looked and how busy the whole place was! But Primark wasn't which was good went there with my mom and little sister Hannah. So I bought some new things which I got sooo excited about.There was a section dedicated to....BAMBI.My childhood fave deer! I loved Bambi growing up I know the words to the whole movie and the songs haha very dedicated to it and also DUMBO which was my ultimate fave before Bambi.So going into this section I almost popped with excitement and could have had a wee there and then not going to lie! So I just bought some cute things for Autumn heading into winter and also some mittens for Christmas which I adore and will wear them on cold days not caring that Halloween hasnt even passed :) So the items I bought was a block colour satchel bag which I have eyed up for a while now and decided that I will buy this and this alone no other bags and that cost me a mere £8 not bad for the quality of it.

The next item was an Owl Water bottle my mom bought me (thank you mommy) which is so cute and caanot wait to use in the cold wintery nights where i shall be wearing my snug jimjams and armed with my hot water bottle. Price is unknown.

TOOOO CUTE! The next item i got was an Owl print t-shirt which i absolutley adore its so soft and comfy so i got it just for lounge wear because i'm cool like that ha it was in the sale at £3 (bag a bargain)

The next item I got was THE CUTEST MOST SOFTEST PAIR OF SLIPPERS EVER! From the Bambi collection I picked up a pair of pink Thumper slippers.

Are these cute or are these cute!! I love them soooo much and glad I now have them in my life only cost me £5 not bad at all. The next item I brought to my world was a pair of fashion tights with a pretty flower pattern over they are quite thick very comfortable and perfect for Autumn and for Winter and also in the spring on chilly days definitely transeasonal.These were not in the sale and cost me £2 i think or £3 one of them so I cannot lie :D

The next item I bought and thought sooo adorable were the mittens with a christmas style to it i think it's supposed to be a christmas tree, not too sure myself they are so cute and cosy and I am glad they don't have that awful scratchy feeling like some I have had in the past Yikes! These were £3

I also bought some basic leggings in black and in navy blue because I love leggings and Primark leggings are always ace! They are £3 each.The picture is not great as the lighting in my house is dreadful!

The last item I bought from Primark and into my wholly world is a Pale Faded blue/grey Owl Scarf (seeing the connection yet) it was in the sale rack at £2 so I thought quite a bargain I took it to the checkout obviously not straight away still had some shopping to do and when I get there you could have blown me down with a feather she scanned it and I said to my mom this is only £2 the lady said "The scarf's price is now 50p" I told her she is the best person to tell me good news all day ha.Rather impressed with myself

So that was my Primark shop I think I have mentioned all items if not I will do a seperate blog post. So i then went to a drugstore cannot remember the name but it was a little random one and there I bought some beauty products which I needed, because I have had a skin problem recently where I upset my PH and I went from combination skin to quite oily which has resulted in spots BOOO! So I went to my dermatologist and asked her whats wrong and basically I used a heavy based foundation meant for a different skin type and it resulted in upsetting my skin's PH everyones skin is different as we all know and rather than me coming out in a rash or have a common kind of reaction I get oily skin with a splash of spots soo not good! I bought the Garnier Oil Control Complete Vanishing Cream some T-Zone Exfoliating Facial Wipes and also some Kleenex Shine Absorbing Powder Free Sheets.Will try and review them. These items I am willing and hoping and praying will help sort it out,if anyone has used these then please please let me know or have had a kind of reaction like mine how did you manage it?

So there you have it my little Shoppingdings! Thank you for reading I will be uploading a video showing in full detail all items :D Stay Happy x

Cilla and Our Girl

I am loving Cilla and Our Girl on BBC ONE and ITV PLAYER.If you don't know what Cilla is its basically a look into Cilla Black or Cilla Whites life through out the 60's the time of The Beatles and also how she met her Bobby.It is amazing and the style of the series including her fashion is very retro and vintage in some places.Her fashion sense and make up looks are just to die for I will be trying to recreate these looks in my Youtube videos. I am learning things I never knew about Cilla Black and I am sure alot of people my age that are into this kind of thing are also learning.It is very eye opening and I am loving it big time! I grew up with Cilla Black on in my home whether it be her music or her Dating Show she was my inspiration growing up as I loved her hair and her style she was so flawless in every aspect of her life.

THIS IS A YOUNG SHERIDAN SMITH PLAYING THE TIMELESS CILLA BLACK IN THE 60'S Our Girl is also another huuuuge fave of mine as its played by the drop dead gorgeous Lacey Turner.She is a fantastic actress and very British which is hard to find now because everyone seems to put on accents so finding someone like Lacey is a rare gem. She is portraying an 18 year old female soldier or medic called Molly in Afghanistan and she plays an absolute blinder.If you haven't watched it yet its basically a young girl from a poor broken home in London her dad is a drunk and abusive and her mom is just an average woman trying to muddle through the day in day out tiring jobs and raising their children. Also for another Eastenders character you have the young Cindy Beale she plays Lacey's young sister she's not seen to much in it. But the portrayal of the difficulty of a young girl in the midst of war is actually eye opening and quite emotional.If you watch it you will see the deeper meaning to it.I wont give nothing more away defo a must watch.

This is Lacey Turner AKA Molly Dawes before and after.MUST MUST MUST WATCH! Enjoy and stay chic x

Oops

Well...I have not wrote a blogpost in a looong while but have uploaded some videos!
Nothing much has happened for any updates on shopping make up etc then head on over to my channel.I will be making blogposts regularly but because of work its been time consuming and not had much to do for myself :-( but thats the way the cookie crumbles ha,
I will be doing a shopping haul next week as I will be able to go shopping eeek! I am very excited and cannot contain my excitement.
Stay beautiful and stay tuned for mooooore DUN DUN DUUUUUUN....blogposts and viddies :-)

A-LIST HAIR? YOU WANT IT/BATISTE/ARGAN OIL

So I did abit of research and tested this myself before I post it on here. We all wish we had thicker fuller hair that listens to us and does what we ask. I did a bit of research tested it myself and the results OH SO AMAZING! So with the information I know and what worked for me I will be sharing this classified information, haha, with you all. You should never wash your hair hair everyday because you can strip it of it's natural oils! And upset the natural PH Balance to keep your hair free and fresh and luscious for upto 4-5 days WITH NO SHAMPOO is as easy as 1,2,3. On the very first day use wash your hair and blow dry it giving it volume and also added thickness keeping the texture fresh and thick.

On the 2nd day use Batiste Dry Shampoo and I don't think you need me to tell you how to use it :) but for those who are new you spray it on your roots not too close to avoid the same marks as deodrant :) (WHITE/GREY MARKS). I am looking abit 60's-70's here lol

On the 3rd day use Batiste Dry Shampoo and straighten it or sleek it back into a ponytail/bun (upto you).

On the 4th day put Argan Oil in so it's a sleek but stylish look giving your hair the shiny look (but not the shiny-greasy look). Then continue with your day :)

This is THE look many A-List and C-List Celebs use. Tried,tested.....PERFECT

My Skincare Routine the Simple Way

I will let you in on a secret! My SKINCARE ROUTINE! Yep there you have it :) The first thing I like to do is get rid of any excess oil or my moisturiser from the night before. I like to use Simple Radiance Brightening Facial Wash to refresh my skin after i have woke up it can look abit dull and tired looking well...it would be since i have just woken up haha. I wash my face with warm water or Luke warm water to open up my pores and to totally deep cleanse them as it is quite gross having clogged pores with last nights sweat and probably bug juice because we are in SUMMER now where bugs are NOT i repeat are NOT afraid to make personal contact with us! So it sounds gross it is actually but anyway moving on from bug juice and sweat. I like to refresh my skin and wake it up using KIND TO SKIN REFRESHING FACIAL WASH GEL as for me personally it feels cool on my face and makes it UN-dull looking. Then I like to use Clear Skin Oil Balancing Exfoliating Wash as this leaves me with a fresh looking glow to my face and and shiny in a non greasy way :) THEEEEEN,, I like to use Purifying Cleansing Lotion as this gives me a more softer feeling to my skin and at this point my skin looks fresh rejuvenated and ready for action. I then apply my make up my normal routine which i shall save for a different post :) When i get in on the evening/night time I like to rid my face of all impurities of the days adventure.My routine for this is as follows. To remove make up and the days pollution because pores are like magnets to anything and pollution from traffic to fresh air to climbing tress (if you did) will get caught,trapped and live in your skin which is quite eeewy! So I like to use Vital Vitamin Foaming Cleanser which helps to leave my skin feeling cleansed, refreshed and nourished because our tummy's get food doesn't mean we should forget our skin AM I RIGHT! Then for after doing the cleanse I like to pick up my bottle and then BAM!!! slap it on my face and this product is Soothing Facial Toner to tone my skin that can get abit elasticated during the days events. Then after ALL that I use Hydrating Light Moisturiser to hydrate my skin and make it still look awake even if i am shattered! Then to finish it all off I like to use this product which I cannot hype about enough it is Repair Anti-Wrinkle Night Cream because i am slowly approaching 30 I have a some very mature laughter lines (if i say so myself) this is perfect as i feel as though it helps to replenish, restore and repair my skin throughout the night I FRIGGIN' LOVE IT!! So there you have it my skincare routine the Simple way. So this is perfect especially if you have ultra sensitive skin that the most sensitive product makes you look like a giant blister...this is THE ONE PRODUCT TO USE. I have been using Simple for many years now as it best helps my skin sure i have tried and tested different products but this for me is like my ultimate signature piece to have in the bathroom.

Rimmel Challenge

So I don't know if you saw my youtube vid about me doing what i call the RIMMEL CHALLENGE it is basically between two Rimmel Foundations The Rimmel 25 Hour in Light Porcelain 010 and Wake Me Up in Light Porcelain 010.
   So i found out which one is the best.My job is a very manual job and it's very tiring so I look tired and my skin looks dull and tired after a few hours.
I found that the Rimmel 25 hours lasted all day it did slide off my face but no foundation I have found stays put even with powder to set it. I recommend this one totally because it does stay for quite some time.
  The Rimmel Wake me up made me look like voldermort I had streaks on my face where it had started to run away from my face :-( leaving my red skin exposed so i looked very very attractive and didnt get funny looks at all.It was just a disaster i think i may end up using it to dab on the redness after i put on my concealer just to give me MORE coverage.
   I thought it was a brilliant foundation and because its texture and the consistency of it i was hoping it would win i did have to build it up to get the right amount on for me, to cover the reddness around the sides of my nose and cheeks (not a great look).
The Rimmel 25 hour one is quite thick and very good coverage, well both of them are but the 25 hour one even more so.It is thick but light on your skin does not dry it out BUT....it does get in those mature laughter lines (if you will). So it kind of sits there 'til you swipe them with your fingers you end up looking like a wrinkly munchkin.

So the overall winner of my RIMMEL CHALLENGE is.........(wait for it)......
RIMMEL 25 HOUR LIGHT PORCELAIN 010.Perfect foundy for the ultimate coverage.
  

Beauty Secrets!

Howdy! I am going to share some Beauty Secrets with you to help you spend less money and to feel good about yourself with some DIY concoctions.Tried and tested on myslef and also some beauty experts agree.

SECRET #1 Remove nail polish....WITHOUT....Remover if you run out of nail polish remover, you can remove cracked or chipped nail polish by applying a clear top coat to the nail and removing it very quickly with cotton wool pads or some tissue if you have run out of cotton wool.

SECRET #2 Towel dry your hair the correct way don't rub your hair dry with your towel it will cause your hair to frizz. Instead, before getting out of the shower gently squeeze excess water from your hair. Then, wrap your hair in a towel and pat it dry to absorb any remaining moisture.

SECRET #3 Always clean your make up brushes Make sure you clean your makeup brushes regularly to avoid a build up of make-up residue and bacteria. You can purchase make-up brush cleaner from a drug or beauty store, or you can simply use shampoo and conditioner to clean your brushes as you would your own hair. Clean brushes guarantee a super smooth and even make-up application every time. The one I use is by MAC and can be found in any Boots or Superdug store.It's a bit pricey but it lasts and lasts and lasts and....laaaasts (£10 a pop)

SECRET #4 One BIG HUMONGOUS GIGANTIC mistake (caps lock added for effect) is NOT moisturising properly reason will follow: Don't slather your face with moisturiser because it will take 10 minutes or more to be absorbed by the skin before your face is ready for make-up.The best way to apply face cream is to blend a penny-sized amount on your cheeks, nose, chin and forehead instead of moisturising heavily. Remember this is the one time where it is acceptable for this saying Less IS more!

Secret #5 Avoid nail chippins' there are only two options for your nails — with nail polish or without. Do not allow your nails to be caught somewhere in the middle (there is nothing worse than nails donning chipped red nail polish). Even if you think no one else will notice, Trust me someone will and they are very quick to point it out (past experience alters your future decisions)

Secret '6 This will be perfect for those that already have oily skin..Don't freak out BUT using an oil-based product to remove make-up or excess dirt from your skin can actually improve your epidermis' condition. Why? Over-cleaning stimulates the sebum glands, which causes skin to over-produce oil. Using oil-based products will have the opposite effect.Yay Free for all! p.s Thank me later (maybe 2-4 weeks)

Secret #7 One big thing that annoys me is......Using Bronzer and using it right Before applying bronzer or self-tanning lotion, mix a drop or two of the solution with moisture cream. Blend using your finger or a cotton bud then apply to skin as you would regular moisturiser. This will ensure the cream blends in AAAND more importantly covers skin — evenly.

Secret #8 The experts at Beauty Is My Duty say that you should never pump your mascara (i.e., moving the wand up and down in the tube really quickly) because it will only allow air into the tube which will cause your mascara to dry (and ultimately shorten its lifespan) thats when you smell it and it smells rather unpleasant.If yours is BIN IT because it can also cause bad bacteria to mix with the good bacteria on and around your eyelashes causes infections and also irritate the eye making it water and sting.

Secret #9 Be beautiful and environmentally savvy while you're at it. Recycle your old beauty products by shipping them to Terra Cycle (you can download their pre-paid UPS shipping packages online so it's completely free). They'll take your old beauty products and transform them into something new and something that is friendly for the rest of the environment. BE GREEN (but not with envy...thats not..erm...good).

Secret #10 Save money on your beauty routine by taking care of your feet on a daily basis. Simply scrub your foot with a pumice stone each morning in the shower. Once you step out and dry off, apply a moisture cream to your feet. This will increase the amount of time you can go without a pedicure and will keep your toes healthy and fungus-free and gives you permission to wear...WAIT FOR IT.... NAKED TOES!

Secret #11 Before you pull those annoying hairs out of the eyebrow make sure you soften your skin by dabbing a cotton ball soaked in warm water or cream. When you start tweezing, do so in the direction of your hair's growth this will allow for the pores to open up and also soften the follicles saving you time dabbing away at your eyes to stop the water from running down those beautiful cheeks.

Secret #12 If you are like me and abit of a Hippie THIS is for YOU don't throw away your old mascara wand, it's still got a few uses left. Clean it and use it as a brow brush instead. You might even find it handy around the house — use it to unclog sinks or clean tough to reach areas in your home also around your little keys on your keyboard and hard to reach places on your PC/laptop,phone the list is endless!

Secret #13 When choosing a foundation, test a product on the skin near your jawline. And be sure to do it in natural light. This will ensure the foundation tone you choose for your face isn't too different from the natural shade of your neck.Never test it on your wrist it is never right and has lied to me in the past I wanted to look like a beautiful golden girl but ended up walking out the colour of an orangutan not because I forgot to shave my entire face but the shade was rather....FUNKY

Secret #14 This IS A MUST Exfoliation is an important and easy way to buff away the dead skin cells that cover up your skin's natural glow. Use a light exfoliator I recommend you use Neutrogena Visibly Clear Gentle Exfoliating Wash face daily.I love it and it draws out all those little impurities such as white heads,black heads and also spots heads (if thats one) It does good and I am going to marry it its just amazing.

Secret #15 QUIRKY! BUT IT WORKS Who here doesn't love a spa day? If we could go every day, we probably would, but that would also put a dent in our pretty purses. A quick, easy and cheaper indulgence is to put your favourite lotion in the microwave for about 10 seconds. Make sure the oils in your lotion don't separate and that it isn't too hot. Apply it on to your skin and enjoy! Remember test the temp on your ELBOW as its the same sensitivity as your face. Try all these handy tips and look and feel beautiful in an INSTANT! Now i am off to microwave my lotion for my SPA-evening. BLISS

Pressies not good pictures

These are the pressies i got there not very good pics lol.